On Gay Marriage


Just a few words about this post, I am Critical Thinker and this is my little Political blog spot.  P.  Gillenwater writes a lot of the stories here, this is one also.  We feel the same way about politics and government overreach among other things.  Yet this is a bit different.  She is a gay atheist female, I am a straight Christian male, sort of like oil and water one might think.  Yet we have become good friends with many common views.

But for the record, I am adamantly opposed to gay marriage.  I do not support such an idea in any way here in America.  I stand rock solid on this because of religious values and the institution of marriage between a man and a woman itself.  I could care less about civil unions or any other thing they come up with, more power to them to find happiness and live as they wish.  It is none of the governments business nor is it anyone else’s business how people live or what they do with their lives.  The gay community can call their relationship any dam thing they want to that pleases them and gives them the proper legal rights, but not marriage, end of rant.  


I came very close to not writing my commentary on this issue. It was not because I was afraid or that you my Patriot friend would come down on me in a disparaging way. The reason I was a bit hesitant was feeling that my words would not convey the issue well. My words would not do injustice to the gay and straight community. No matter how lame or lacking in thought you, gay or straight. judge these words to be, at least do not judge me for not trying. Do not judge me as a coward. Do not judge me as not being conservative, you I feel while being free to do so, you do more injustice to yourself for that kind of judgement.

A frothy issue. It brings out-of-the-closet spirited folks from both sides.

For some it has implications rooted in the biblical sense. For some it’s about preservation of traditional marriage. Others are opposed due to mere fact that same gender sex is a turn off.  Others it may simply be on grounds that same gender marriage creates a ‘special class’.  Whatever the reason its a continuous one.

I am a gay American being in a long term relationship of 31 years. What is my take on this issue.

I am neither for or against gay marriage. Go ahead get it out of your system and call me a fence sitter. My preference, if any are to be enacted, is civil unions backed by all the perks that hetero marriage couples receive. You see I don’t need heterosexual’s permission to live in a relationship I choose nor do I need governments permission and blessings. Folks it is simply the right to liberty, freedom to love and live with whom I choose.

Personally my partner and I have not participated in a civil union nor a marriage granted by a specific state. With that said make no mistake ignorant folks have tried in many incidents to infringe on our relationship. This infringement can be a decision by a hospital not to allow a partner to visit because they deem the partner not to be a family member. In other instances it may be a company or an individual in the company making the decision that both partners must pay for house insurance (double payment on the same dwelling), this was one of our experiences. Many examples abound but I won’t bore you with our struggles for they are many.

Government and churches of all denominations have a symbiotic relationship, true throughout history. One or the other supports the beliefs of the other. Government supports the right to worship as one feels while the church supports the rule of law legislated by government.  However, in my humble opinion, neither institutions have the right to infringe on freedom and liberty of any individual.

So what do same gender folks want? Well it boils down to two things the first is seeking the same rights to inheritance and all the other rights granted to those who choose marriage, the legal goodies. The second thing many gays seek is acceptance by society from their family members and straight friends. While I am quite comfortable in saying hell with family members
or so called friends who do not accept me others are not.

We should not dismiss, I believe, the toll it takes on gay people who are hated by some in society. This hate can result in violence, bullying and the like. Ask yourself what it would mean to you if being straight would bring such hatred inflicted on you. Would you hide in a closet, commit suicide, suffer from low self esteem? Most likely.

The point of my commentary is not to make you love gay people nor to convert you to the gay persuasion. It is not indented in any way shape or form to deny your right to think the way you so choose for that would be to limit your freedoms, liberty. My goal is to drive home the notion of liberty and freedom for all of America’s children and this includes staying out of our bedrooms our relationships straight or gay.

Most believe it is government’s role to grant marriage. Only government has the right to say who can marry and who cannot. Is there anyone else who sees a fundamental problem with this theory? Government collects revenue through marriage licensing, a tax if you will, on your right to marry someone, ludicrous. What if the government decides that a straight person is not worthy to marry for whatever reason they choose? For example that person does not earn a set amount of money, a person is an ex-felon, a person does not have the right characteristics, genes for what the government legislates for producing the optimal human being. Where does government intrusion into the privacy, freedoms and liberty stop?

Let me make this abundantly clear. I personally do not condone the worst behavior of the gay community be it one of in your face or free sex with accompanying consequences. Nor do I condone behaviors of the straight community in some instances alike. Did you know it is a fact that approximately 95% of sex offenders are straight? Straight and sick.

Let’s face some facts. Traditional marriage in America is not working out so well. Divorce rates are extremely high. Many households are simply dysfunctional. Spousal abuse is prevalent.  Sexual abuse of children within the family circle is commonplace. Obviously there are marriages that work and are not dysfunctional and rear products of that union who are not broken adults.  Some family structures who are deeply faith based, children of this group may or may not as adults become as spiritual. Likewise we should recognize that children of a marriage who is not actively practicing a religious faith find their own path to a faith. The same equation applies to gays with children. By the way there is no supporting evidence, not any, that gay couples with children turn out children who are gay. The fact is gay kids come from all types of family

Would gay marriage change your own marriage? I think not either positively nor in a negative way. Mom’s and Dad’s are the master’s of the family marriage unit. Just as a strong family unit would do all in their power not to let a dysfunctional straight marriage union to have an impact on the family so too would they not allow a traditional gay marriage who was  dysfunctional. Why then fear a gay marriage union? I don’t have an answer. As FDR was quoted as saying “Only Thing We Have to Fear Is Fear Itself”. While FDR is not on my list of great Presidents and his quote can not be applied to fearing government it seems adequate to apply to the issue of gay marriage.

Let me also say that I wish the gay community would have invented their own marriage like institution and not be so gung ho to take the existing straight one. Why? I have already made the argument the argument that traditional marriage is troubled. I would have liked to see if there would be a chance to have created a stronger institution that met the needs of tGay-marriage--brides-on-wedding-cake-jpghe gay
community. Perhaps out of that invention some idea would emerge that would help straight traditional marriage.

Will marriages among gays be all that different than those among straights of course excluding the sex act. Not really. There are extremely religious gays as well as not religious ones. Keep in mind for the most part gay’s grew up in heterosexual family units with some exception. Gay’s like straight’s are products of this society. Yes society in America can be said to be declining in its values. We look at society of yesteryear and often think it was better. Gay’s existed then as we do now and always will. Gay’s are not the reason for the decline its far more complicated.

The question to me is one of freedom/liberty. To deny just one person, straight or gay, of liberty, freedom is to deny all of us to this right. In fact I will say to turn over the right to marry to government, even though it is a long standing law, is to deny oneself to be the master of their own fate. It is nothing less than government intrusion in the personal. Well you might say
government through courts must settle marriage disputes and all the problems that produces.  That is true. But courts solve many disputes of many institutional types, between business partners and the like. Is this government intrusion? Well if you are on the wrong end of the stick you would most likely believe it true but I think courts settling disputes among the populace far better than say Sharia Law. In the final if an agreement can not be reached by reasonable headed folks there is room for courts. Will gay marriage have an impact on courts, well yes in additional partner disputes. Gay’s have been adopting children for many, many years and this has additional strains on the courts as do children disputes from traditional marriage units.

Most likely this issue will be brought to the Supreme Court. I suspect that they will make it a State issue, honoring that we are a Republic democracy. While I think this approach opens a huge can of worms for the gay segment of society I remain a strong supporter of state rights.

Our America and her peoples are facing assaults on our liberty and freedoms it seems every minute of the day. We have many things to worry about regarding an overreaching heavy handed government. Gay marriage issue seems to me to pale in the light of what is coming down on us from the Federal.

All I am asking is think about being compassionate, think about the issue of liberty and freedom for all America’s citizens even when fundamental beliefs are antithetical to the gay community.

We gays are not going away. Churches can’t change that fact, government laws can not change that fact and you as an individual can not change that fact. Gays will endure. So get over it move along and fight the good fight for liberty and freedom. Fight to stop liberty busting legislation when it rears its ugly head. Fight to repeal laws or sections of existing legislation that impinges on your right to liberty. Good use of personal energy.

Take into consideration that this debate is really about common sense and liberty and freedom for all of America’s children. If you give a child an allowance you are basically giving up the right to control how the allowance is spent. You can do the best to teach a child to spend or save wisely, that is about all. No guarantees the child will follow your best teachings.

Likewise maintaining freedom and liberty for all does not mean it will be used wisely by all members of the populace, truth is not all members of the populace understand the meanings of the words nor gives a rat’s patootie. All we can do is fight for liberty and freedom even for the clueless, the ignorant. There exist evil, bad actors among us. These people exist in all colors,
white, black, brown, yellow and green. They exist among straight people and they exist in the rainbow colors of the gay community. For God’s sake evil people are even Democrats and Republicans, evil people vote. This is not a reason to deny liberty and freedom for if we do we are denying it to ourselves.